Jack Donaghy once said, “A nemesis can be anyone… or anything.” He was, as always, spot on. I know this better than anyone. Since moving to Japan, I have made enemies with numerous people, objects, and metaphysical concepts, including (in chronological order): a four year old boy, the remote for my air conditioner, a bag of onions, Japan’s absurdly complicated recycling practices, food menus, a one-year-old-girl, my own inability to learn Japanese, gravity, fake-handwritten