Delusional Suspects Inc. is owned by Delusional Suspects Multmedia Group, just kidding, please buy us 

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June 7, 2017


              Stop me if you’ve ever heard anyone ever say something positive about a chicken…. That’s what I thought, because no one ever has. If you’re calling someone a chicken, you’re saying they’re a coward. If you are telling a joke about a chicken, it’s probably about it crossing the road and is awful. If you say something tastes like chicken, you are saying it tastes generic and boring. If some...

November 9, 2015



        If I could come back to live the life of any person in history, Chuck Lorre, the creator of Two and a Half Men and The Big Bang Theory, would have to crack the top ten. For going on twenty years, fans by the tens of millions a week have been overjoyed to allow Lorre to spew hot liquid garbage into their homes to the extent that he has a net worth of $600 million. It’s the television equivalent of opening your front...

May 28, 2015

Lost Dog: 


Answers to Jake (sometimes)


Appearance: Large (especially in comparison to a child) with dark, black fur. Has big, sharp teeth and powerful legs


Attributes: Violent, aggressive, with a wicked demeanor


If Found: Please call the police, who can in turn contact us. Do not try to approach him because he will maul you, possibly to death.


Reward: The satisfaction that comes with knowing that as soon as Jake is retuned to us, we will be putting him down an...

May 22, 2015



As the French Open gets into full swing, here are some pickup lines guaranteed to get you laid whether you're in Paris, at a viewing party or just creepily following a girl home while wearing tennis shoes. 




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How to Escape a Submerged Car

October 28, 2015

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