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Conversations that must've happened while designing these city flags

May 19, 2015

 

We don't know what was happening during the creation of these monstrosities, but we can still imagine.  

 

Milwaukee, Wisconsin 

Flag Designer: "I'm sorry sir I can't incorporate wheat, the skyline, a boat, 1846, a smaller flag, a knight, three swords and a gear into one flag" 

Mayor: "Well why not?" 

Flag Designer: "Well here's a draft and as you can see there is just too mu-" 

Mayor: "That's perfect! Way to go, I'm going to give you a huge bonus"

Flag Designer: "B-but... thank you?" 

 

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

City Official: Okay things look great, love the colors, love the diversity love the, wait? IS THAT A SEVERED HUMAN ARM!" 

Clearly High Flag Designer: "I know right? I can't believe the mayor approved this hahaha" 

 

San Francisco, California 

 

Mayor: "Looking back on it, I really regret doing a citizen submitted flag design right when Clip Art came out in 1998'" 

 

Woodbury, Minnesota 

Flag Designer: "Oh shit, you guys are an actual city? I thought that was just some weird name for a tech company." 

Mayor: "Well we've already spent two million dollars on you so I guess this is our new flag" 

 

 Montgomery, Alabama 

 

Mayor: "Just to make things clear, as close to the confederate flag as you can make without actually being a confederate flag" 

Designer: "So just add gray, take away one blue bar and rotate it a few degrees" 

Mayor: "Perfect" 

 

Provo, Utah

 

 

Mayor: "I said we would use your vitamins in our cities medical clinics, I never said you could redesign our fucking flag" 

President of Centrum Silver Vitamins: "You know we've already printed two thousand flags, it's a little too late to go back on this" 

Mayor: "Sigh, fuck it we'll keep it." 

 

Jimmy Rippert is co-founder/Co-CEO/Unpaid intern of Delusional Suspects.  Follow him on twitter @Fishboyjim or don't, but please do.  

 

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