top of page
Recent Posts
Featured Posts

The Suspect News Report (June 26, 2015)

Didn’t read the newspaper or watch the news? Don’t worry about it. DelusionalSuspects is here to give you all the information you missed in this week’s Suspect News Report.

The Supreme Court voted in favor of gay marriage, making it legal in all 50 states. We join an elderly man laying in a hospital bed in his home in rural Alabama. This man fought vehemently against the integration of public schools during the Civil Rights Era. As he sees the news of the decision on gay marriage on television, a single tear rolls down his cheek and he forcefully pulls the plug on the life support machine that has kept him alive for several years. As he descends towards death, he mutters his last words, to no one, as he is alone in the house: “I’m ready to join you, Reggie.”

The NBA draft occurred on Thursday night with Karl-Anthony Towns being selected first by the Minnesota Timberwolves. Drama occurred when Frank Kaminsky was discovered to actually be two eleven year old boys standing on each others’ shoulders, but this did not stop the Hornets from drafting him/them with the 15th overall pick.

In the wake on the Charleston shooting last week, debate rages on over whether the Confederate Flag should be taken down at the South Carolina State House. Many agree that the flag should be left up because if it is taken down, it will be free to buy a gun and commit more murders, because it was the flag that shot all those people, not a man in a city hundreds of miles away.

The U.S. women continued play in the Women’s World Cup this week, defeating Colombia and moving on to…no one cares about this. I’m not even going to bother.

bottom of page