Have you ever just lustfully looked at a cartoon and thought to yourself "Damn, the things I would do to that animation"....yeah me neither *wink* BUT if I did here would be my list of all time hottest cartoons:
Deborah "Debbie" Thornberry - Wild Thornberrys
Pros: This well traveled young bombshell has a sassy persona that keeps everyone on their toes. She has a handicapped younger brother which lets you know she is compassionate. She's close to her family which is nice if you are looking for a long term relationship (which I am not)
Cons: She's always traveling to exotic countries with her crazy family. Expect phone calls in all hours of the night due to varying time zones and the constant questioning about girls who comment on your Facebook pictures. And when you do finally see her in person, you'll probably just hang out with Eliza the whole time because she can talk to animals, that alone bumps her from a 4 to a solid 9.
How you doin', girl?
Regina "Reggie" Rocket- Rocket Power
Pros: This sporty gal can hang with the guys and still radiate class. She runs a magazine called "The Zine" and although it's a pretty unorginal name for a magaZINE, it's a solid cash cow that could be your ticket to retirement.
Cons: She has already "Friendzoned" two of her closest guy friends, be prepared for you to be next.
Lady - Lady and the Tramp
Pros: This bitch (it's cool) has eyes that will drive you crazy. She has been known to wine and dine her dates and loves spaghetti. What more do you need?
Cons: She's a Cocker Spaniel
Rapunzel - Tangled
Pros: She has been in her room every day of her life. She's desperate for human interaction let alone a man to satisfy her needs, so you can assume her standards are really low. You know she's clean and has a lot of pent up......frustration.
Cons: If her hair is any sign, then her famine hygiene maybe a little "vintage". Also, she has been in her room away from society for her whole life, don't be surprised if she inexplicably throws a fork at you because she is not sure what "normal" is in social settings.
Lola Bunny - Space Jam
Pros: This temptress has curves in all the right places. I am not surprised she hopped to the top of my list (that's a bunny joke). I think she is the reason MJ divorced his wife.
Cons: She's a female basketball player, so don't be shocked if she starts bringing her other female "teammates" over for sleepovers.
When Joe Rippert is not fantasizing about Lola Bunny, he can be found on Twitter @joerippert and on Match.com @GoLolaGo. He wanted to relay a message to our readers that states "If you are a single cartoon please email me at Rippert.firstname.lastname@example.org